“To think in terms of either pessimism or optimism oversimplifies the truth. The problem is to see reality as it is.” – Thích Nhất Hạnh

I sat down on my mat, getting comfortable with a pillow behind my back. I crossed my legs, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes as if I were readying to dive underwater.

I had just started a meditation practice. I was still unsure of how this was really supposed to make me feel. I often finished these short sessions with more questions than answers, trying to sit back and “observe” as my thoughts turned to fears and anxieties I would rather ignore.

Was mindfulness really the key to happiness, as so many seemed to think? Or were my expectations off? As I dug deeper, I realized I had been looking at mindfulness from the wrong perspective.

What is Mindfulness—Really?

Many people seem to conflate mindfulness with having a “positive mental attitude,” a term that gained popularity thanks to Napoleon Hill, an early success guru and author of the famous book Think and Grow Rich.

Having a “PMA” means keeping your mind fixated on the things you want at all times. It involves actively choosing positive thoughts over negative ones and reframing every challenge as an opportunity.

Mindfulness, on the other hand, is a completely different concept.

It’s the process of bringing your full attention to everything happening in the present moment: thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and your environment. This practice is often developed through meditation, an ancient practice with roots in a wide variety of religions and cultures.

There are countless ways to approach meditation, but whether you’re spiritual or secular, cultivating mindfulness is a key component of every meditation system. And mindfulness isn’t quite the same as happiness: in fact, it’s all about awareness.

The Difference Between Mindfulness and Positivity

Being mindful isn’t the same thing as staying positive. It’s not about focusing on things you want while dismissing things you don’t, or even forcing yourself to view a situation in a new way.

In fact, it’s about accepting things that are happening and thoughts that are coming up as they are in the present—there’s no need for labeling events, thoughts, or sensations as “positive” or “negative.”

Mindfulness does not mean choosing your thoughts—instead, you observe them as they occur and then allow them to pass. It means doing what you need to in order to make plans, and then letting it go. It’s finding contentment in the process of your day-to-day routines without attaching your happiness to a particular goal or outcome. 

Being mindful also means accepting where you are in the overall journey of your life. Sometimes when we reflect on our current circumstances, our first instinct is to try to change them in some way. But mindfulness teaches us to resist that urge and to be grateful for the present moment instead.

The Effects of Mindfulness

But can mindfulness help you feel happier in the long run?

Yes.

In our fast-paced society, we’re often focused outwards, feeling anxious over the future and anticipating problems that may arise. Cultivating mindfulness will likely help you improve your overall well-being and eliminate some of the stress that comes along with worrying about the future—not because you’ll magically begin to see everything in a positive light, but because you’ll be able to keep your focus on things you can control in the moment.

The heightened awareness and ability to accept your current circumstances means staying present for challenges, too, rather than trying to ignore or escape them.

Mindfulness and positive thinking can go hand in hand, and practicing meditation on a regular basis can certainly make it easier to think clearly and stay calm in tough situations.

But the aim of mindfulness isn’t to “be happy”—it’s to simply be.

 

Jane Harkness is a freelance writer from New Jersey. Her writing has been published in Thought Catalog, Student Universe, Pink Pangea, and other digital platforms. She writes every day on Medium, and you can check out more of her work on her website.