In fact, it’s our past that is the key to unlocking the fears, pains, and anxieties that are holding us back and getting in the way of our current relationships with others and ourselves. 

But delving into the past is not just about digging up unresolved trauma. There’s something far more innocent we can take from our childhoods. Think back to that time you learned to ride a bike or the many afternoons at the playground. As kids, we experienced such simple bliss in these activities—so who says we can’t continue to enjoy them as an adult?

I find this process starts with revisiting some of my most cherished childhood activities, and even trying some new ones. For me, finding freedom on a bike or flying high on a swing can bring bliss like no day at the spa ever could. Meanwhile, finding the courage to try something new—like when I got on a trampoline for the first time (at age 40!)—will not only make you feel young again, but also may help you get over some more deep-seated fears and anxieties. 

Here are a few ways to find bliss in looking back:

Take a bike ride!

The simple pleasure of a bike ride can do wonders for the mind, body, and soul. Take it as easy or hard as you’d like, but don’t turn your bike ride into a physical goal or competition. Just enjoy the wind in your hair and the pedals moving smoothly under your feet. Take in your surroundings and don’t forget to look for the biggest hill to fly down—just like you would have done as a kid!

There’s a freedom on a bike you just can’t experience in your car. Get out and feel the power of being on two wheels.

Enjoy a swing!

Yep, head to the playground and have a seat on that swing. Kick your legs and feel the air underneath you. 

Actually, swinging is good for your health in more ways than you think. When you are on a swing, you have to pump your legs to get higher and hold yourself up. That in itself is a full-body workout! 

Once you’re back on the ground, there’s a literal sense of feeling grounded. A swing is actually an excellent metaphor for life. The highs can feel incredible, but we always need to come back down to earth to realize the preciousness of life.

Try something new!

You know the saying: “Do one thing everyday that scares you.” This is the true essence of putting yourself back into the mind of a child, when just about everything feels new and scary.

Trying something new—whether that’s jumping on a trampoline or climbing a rock or traveling to a place you’ve never seen—can open up doors you never imagined. You may just find a new hobby, a new favorite workout, or a new vacation home.  

Whatever you choose to do, keep an open mind and live in the moment—just like you did as a kid.

We’ve all agreed to do something that doesn’t feel quite right.

We’ve spent money on things that we didn’t care about, let social pressure affect our decisions, and gone back on promises that we made to ourselves. We’ve maintained friendships with people who leave us feeling drained and exhausted, yet we hesitate to let those connections go.

When we catch ourselves doing this over and over again, we need to ask ourselves: where do our boundaries lie, and how can we do a better job of upholding those boundaries in difficult situations?

Boundaries aren’t walls that guard you from real connections. They are tools for self-preservation, and they are a form of self-respect.

The best part of setting boundaries doesn’t have to do with walking away from relationships that weigh you down, maintaining control over how you spend your time, or the sense of relief you get when you say “no” to something without guilt.

It’s the feeling of inner peace that you get when you treat your time and energy as sacred. You know that you stand by your values, and you can devote your efforts to people and activities that you love instead. When you maintain your boundaries and stay true to your values, you live in authenticity.

Over the past year, I’ve personally had to set boundaries around unhealthy habits.

When I go out for the night with friends, I no longer feel guilty about heading home early if I’m too exhausted to have a good time. If someone offers me a snack that I can’t eat, I politely decline and explain why without getting judgmental. If I’m invited out the night before a busy morning, I don’t feel awkward about having a mocktail.

At first, sticking to those boundaries felt uncomfortable. I wondered if people would see me as boring or uptight.

But as time went on, the idea of violating those boundaries began to feel more uncomfortable. At the end of the day, I had to make choices that were right for me, even if it could invite judgment from others. As long as I wasn’t hurting anyone else, I didn’t have to be apologetic about maintaining my boundaries.

So, how can you determine your own boundaries? Here are a few tips to help you figure it out.

1. Notice when you feel out of alignment with your values.

That sinking feeling that sets in when you agree to something you didn’t really want to do. That moment when you catch yourself groaning inside when you realize you overextended your schedule again. That hesitation you get before spending time with someone you know is a negative influence.

We get a certain queasy feeling when we know that we’re going against our values or failing to set boundaries. We might try to tell ourselves that it’s okay to make exceptions, but deep down, we know that something is off. Instead of berating yourself for your mistake, simply take a step back and notice the way your emotions clue you in when these moments arise.

2. Get specific: Exactly where are you shrinking for the sake of others?

Here’s the part where you break out your journal and dig deep.

Reflect on recent moments when you’ve agreed to something that you didn’t actually want. Ask yourself why. Write about how it made you feel.

When you have a few examples written down, you’ll have a better idea of where you need to set stronger boundaries.

Perhaps you’re the type who says “yes” to every possible commitment because you don’t want to let anyone down. Or maybe you’ve been dropping everything to help someone who probably wouldn’t reciprocate the effort if the roles were reversed. Think about what it would be like if you set boundaries in these situations instead.

3. Take action to set clear boundaries.

Now, it’s time to put those reflections in to action.

Of course, at first, it won’t be easy.

People may question you or try to wear you and your boundaries down. But remember that this isn’t really about them.
It’s all about living your life in a way that makes you happy and fulfilled.

Having a victim mentality is self-destructive. But all it takes is a shift in your perspective to stop the pity party.

Self-pity is about believing you’re a victim of circumstances. Feeling sorry for yourself will not get you anywhere. In fact, self-pity can keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from getting close to anyone. It can even weaken your immunity or lead to depression.

Instead, you need to realize it’s no one’s fault how you live and feel. You’re responsible for your life, and are capable to take control and change it.

This is what you can do to shift from feeling sorry for yourself to completely owning yourself.

1. Change the way you think about yourself and your life.

Sometimes a small change can bring big results. When you change your beliefs about yourself and life, your life changes.

Below are examples of some common negative beliefs, as well as simple ways to shift these beliefs into positive thoughts.

2. Your life is your responsibility. Take control over it.

You are responsible for your actions, choices, thoughts, and feelings.

If a partner cheated on you, it’s their responsibility. You must take control over how you react to that situation and move forward.

This means you have at least two options:

1. Forgive him or her, commit to staying together, and work on improving your relationship.
2. Leave him or her, and take time to work on your own personal development.

Remember to stop blaming him or her, and especially yourself. Take such a situation as an opportunity to look deeper into what you want out of your life.

3. Skip the pity party and feel the compassion—especially for yourself.

Having self-compassion means understanding and having empathy toward yourself.

When you feel sorry for yourself, you distance yourself from reality. You withdraw and avoid facing the challenges ahead of you.

Start feeling self-compassion with a few of these techniques:

• Be kind to yourself
• Focus on being more mindful in every situation
• Encourage yourself to try new things
• Recognize and understand your emotions
• Write what you’re grateful for
• Enjoy the small things

4. Accept your mistakes as part of your learning process.

Your mistakes are the choices you make. They are there for you to learn from. Remind yourself that with the knowledge and experience you had before, you acted the best you could.

Accept the fact that you can’t change your past, but be grateful that you can change your future by acting differently now.

5. Always look at the bright side of any situation.

Don’t attach yourself emotionally to a negative situation that may seem unbearable. There’s always an opportunity that can be had, even in the worst of situations.

Try to be flexible and open-minded. If you currently have a stressful job, take a step back to see the bright side of it. Write down what makes it great. Are you building experience? Learning new valuable skills? Working with inspirational people?

That said, if you can’t see a bright side, maybe you need to re-evaluate what you’re doing. Remember, leaving a bad situation is always your choice as well, and may end up paying off in the long run.

6. Stop complaining.

When you talk about your problems with other people, you remain in those problems.

Ego likes to complain by saying “Why me?” The ego thinks that nothing bad should happen to you. It badly needs attention. But your ego isn’t the center of the universe.

Instead of wasting energy complaining about your life, choose to improve your life, and the results will follow.

If you have a typical 40-hour work week, that’s almost a quarter of your life working. On top of that, most of us spend way more time than that compulsively checking our email and feeling like we need to constantly be on-call.

Americans are so obsessed with work, nearly half don’t take advantage of all of their vacation time.

But why do we do this? Do we find our work more meaningful if we spend more time at the office or in front of a screen? Most likely not. In fact, people tend to be more productive and more engaged when they work fewer hours.

But if working fewer hours is not your reality, there are still some small but significant things you can do to make your work more meaningful, and even inject it with your own personality.

Work doesn’t have to be a slog, unless you deem it that way. Here are a few quick tips on how to find inspiration at work every single day, no matter what you do.

1. Change Up Your Routine

Stuck in a rut? Start by physically moving more. Stagnation of the body will inevitably reach your mind, too. Lack of movement, especially when you feel glued to a computer screen all day, can cause irritability, frustration, and even depression.

This doesn’t require a whole workout routine, but if you work at an office for eight hours a day, consider taking at least a walk around the office, or even around the block to get the blood flowing and rejuvenate your senses.

Any amount of exercise, even just fast walking or climbing stairs, can help release endorphins to give you a little euphoric boost.

If you need to, set up a timer to remind you when you should get up and move. There are also some apps that can help you accomplish this goal daily, ones like Stand Up! The Work Break Timer, Stand App, or 100 Office Workouts.

2. Lighten Up

Humor can brighten up the day of any workplace’s greatest cynic—even if that’s you.

Unfortunately, too many people think that it’s their job’s fault, not theirs, that they lack enthusiasm and feel exhausted. But it all comes down to perspective.

Humor and silliness can restore your energy. If you work with people, try to bring some light and laughter in to a meeting or phone call. Don’t be afraid to point out the absurd in the mundane.

As an English teacher, I always try to teach grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation with humor and lightness. It helps keep the student more engaged, and makes my job a whole lot more enjoyable.

3. Know What You Want

Figuring out what you want out of your job can really be the hardest step. It often requires some real soul-digging. Think about what’s important to you, and how can you incorporate that into your work.

One way to do this is to add more variety to your job. Assign yourself new responsibilities, embark on a new project, or bring together your co-workers for some activities or volunteering outside of the workplace.

When you’re faced with a variety of tasks that you’ve helped shape yourself, you’ll be more excited to put your whole self into them.

What could be any more meaningful than that?

About the Author: Julian Garr is an ESL teacher who loves traveling, observing, making music, and enjoying a good cup of coffee. Check him out on YouTube at Big & Small Travel or on Amazon for his Business English e-book.

Do you feel small and needless? Do you feel that you’re not worthy of life, love or someone’s attention?

There are a few things behind that feeling of unworthiness that you first need to dig into:

• The belief of not being good enough: But good enough for whom? You’ll never be good enough for others, so stop worrying about that. If you’re trying to be perfect, you’ll just lose many years of your life in vain.
• A lack of self-love: How can you love yourself if you don’t feel worthy of love? You also can’t allow others to love you.
• A lack of self-esteem: This also creates the feeling of unworthiness. It’s often caused by some event from the past or a person who mistreated you.
• The belief that you don’t deserve acceptance from others: Life, love and success are not dependent on being deserving. You don’t have to deserve to live or deserve someone else’s love.

The only truth to remember is that you’re worthy the way you are—it doesn’t depend on who you are or what you do.

If you’re struggling with this—and, don’t worry, so many of us are—here are 5 ways you can regain a feeling of self-worth:

1. Find the purpose in your life.

What creates a positive feeling in you? What do you enjoy doing? How can you help others feel good or worthy?

Your purpose is what motivates you. You feel worthy of living when you know your life’s purpose.

2. Learn how to have positive self-talk.

When you understand that all the negative self-talk is just the words and beliefs of others, you’ll begin to awaken. You’ll let go of the emotional attachment to the outside world.

You have the power over your life and only you can change it.

Instead of telling yourself words like “I’m not worthy of life. I’m not worthy of love,” say “I was born to live with abundance I have within. God loves me, so I am worthy of love.”

With this sort of self-talk, you’ll stay strong no matter what comes your way.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

What’s the point of comparing? You’re poisoning yourself, not the other person.

You’ll only start to feel worthy when you accept the fact that we’re all different. You have to learn to live with your individuality instead of comparing yourself with others.

Self-worth means you feel equal to all others in existence, regardless of the way you live and look and what you have or have not.

4. Learn that your self-worth is unconditional.

Often as children we think that we must do what our parents tell us and then they’ll love us. If you don’t do what they say, they’ll punish you, yell at you or ignore your needs.

This is conditional love.

Most of us are taught to believe that we must please people to get their trust, love or attention.

But these are negative beliefs. Worthiness is unconditional.

5. Take care of your inner Self.

Who will take care of you if you don’t take care of yourself?

Do what energizes you. Spend some time alone and in silence.

Get to know yourself better. What are your desires, your fears? Start to see all of your traits as the unique picture of you.

Know that you’re good enough and beyond enough. Know that your life matters and that you are worthy because you are alive.

So, I continue to push through this fear as I fully embrace it, even going to the extreme of jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet and jumping off of a bridge at 200 feet (with a bungee attached, of course!).

I’ve put myself in such terrifying situations not necessarily to overcome my fear of heights, but to push myself out of my comfort zone—to feel the fear, then feel the power of transcending that fear, if at least just for a bit.

Flying High

Sometimes you need to scare yourself—to place yourself thousands of feet above the earth—to, ironically, feel grounded. There’s nothing like literally touching the earth after jumping out of a plane to help you fully appreciate life.

But you certainly don’t need to go to the extent of skydiving to experience this. Maybe it’s about speaking in front of a big group, or attending a new class, or simply just going somewhere you never have before.

When you purposelessly put yourself outside of your comfort zone, it lifts you out of your element, disconnecting you from a stable foundation. But this is necessary. You can’t understand the significance of feeling grounded unless you also understand it’s opposite—this is the essence of balance.

Just think about that feeling you get when your sense of comfort has been taken away. And then think about that rush you get afterwards. You’ve survived. You safely landed. You spoke in front of a big group, you tried something new, you went somewhere you never had before. This can all be exhilarating but also quite relieving, too.

And even if the outcome isn’t life-changing, or even what you hoped it would be, the fact that you did it is what matters.

Finding the Ground and Feeling Grounded

The irony is that you need to face fear—to fly high—before you can ever truly feel grounded.

When I decided to go skydiving, it actually got me thinking seriously about my life and my goals. I honestly thought I could die. Jumping out of an airplane both terrified and thrilled me. I realized I would have no control over the outcome, other than making the decision to jump or not.

The toughest part was the waiting, the anticipation as the plane creeped up higher and higher and the straps of my parachute felt like they were getting tighter and tighter. But once I was in the air… time stopped. My mind stopped. The earth stopped. And when I landed, safe and sound, it was almost like I had pressed a reset button on my life. I had never felt so “grounded.”

About the Author: Julian Garr is an ESL teacher who loves traveling, observing, making music, and enjoying a good cup of coffee. Check him out on YouTube at Big & Small Travel or on Amazon for his Business English e-book.

You’re emotionally attached to other people’s opinions about you—and you hate yourself for that.

You may ask, “Who am I?” but have trouble figuring out how to answer that. All those voices in your head just don’t give the right reply.

It’s because those voices come from other people in your life. Someone told you once you weren’t good enough, and you believed that. Someone else said you weren’t worth their time. You believed that, too.

Something happened in the past that attached you to other people’s opinions.

We all do this. I myself believed I was stupid, unworthy, and a weirdo. I became the person as they saw me.

The truth is I didn’t know who I was. I felt lost.

That is, until a person came into my life who ended up being my greatest teacher. She unconsciously showed me why I needed to detach from what other people thought about me.

Below are 6 lessons I learned from her.

1) You are worthy no matter what other people tell you.

Your self-worth doesn’t depend on what others say about you.

Remember that people often treat you the same way someone has treated them. For example, parents who talk negatively to their kids are already teaching them to doubt their self-worth.

But, no matter what, you’re worthy for simply being alive.

People’s opinion about you doesn’t matter. You’re already worthy of living.

2) You’re capable enough to live your life your way.

You are the leader of your life. You have the full capacity to control it. You don’t need anyone to tell you what you should do with your life.

Intuition is your guidance. You are the only one who can feel if something’s right or wrong for you.

Live your life and let others live theirs—as long it doesn’t negatively affect someone else.

3) People’s words tell more about who they are than who you are.

It’s easier to judge others than to look within yourself and find the reasons for your own judgment.

You put down another person because it’s the only way you can feel above them. The ego projects its complexes on others.

You also see people the way you see yourself. You see them from the beliefs and perspective you have about life and others.

How you feel inside is how you will make others feel.

4) You have to respect and accept yourself.

If you expect respect and acceptance from others, you’ll only be disappointed.

Do you accept yourself? If not, then you can’t ask others to accept you.

Acceptance, starting with the understanding that we’re all imperfect, is the first step toward self-love.

When you have the love within you, you’ll want to spread it to others. You will accept people as they are, and not as you want them to be.

5) Your self-confidence is about you, not about other people.

Don’t build your self-confidence based on another person’s opinion.

A confident person doesn’t worry about what others say about her. She knows who she is. She knows her worth.

Do you know a confident person? Try to learn from them.

6) People’s words are painful only if you believe them.

Words are neutral until you give them meaning.

Maybe someone told you in the past that you’re fat. You connected the word “fat” with meaning “ugly and stupid.” You created a negative belief: “I’m stupid because I’m fat.”

Now, you must form a new belief. You may say to yourself, “I do have some excess pounds, but this isn’t permanent. Everything is prone to change. So am I.”

You’ll then start acting upon this new belief, and the change will inevitably come.

Just remember that opinion is not fact. Don’t give in to its power. Instead, give power to the words that serve you.

Bio: Jana Tosic is a freelance mental health and personal development web content writer. She helps individuals and companies make an impact in their life and in this world. She also enjoys spending time with her family and working daily on her self-development. Find more of her writing at her website and connect with her on Linkedin, Facebook, and Twitter.

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.” – Buddha

Some might have issues with meditation because it’s not a “simple” skill. In fact, most think that it’s definitely learned, but not in any easy way. Others might already be in tune with it; some might fall flat in trying.

Even the most calm might not even realize they’re doing it already, which sort of kills the purpose behind it. That’s where guided meditation comes in.

Rewiring Your Brain Without Even Thinking About It

Studies have shown that you could literally imagine yourself competing in a sport you enjoy and potentially find yourself doing it in real life. This form of daydreaming is tapping into your subconscious mind, which is then telling your body to “prepare” for it all, and guided meditation can help get you to that “place” in your mind with ease.

Think of it as subconscious learning, or maybe even adapting. This may be quite different from what we typically associate with meditation. Many of us believe meditation is simply about finding that place in ourselves where we can experience serenity. Our breathing slows down. We’re at peace. Stress levels drop…

And then we snap out of it, and are reinvigorated.

However, the main issue with meditation is the challenge of getting ourselves into that “place.” It’s not exactly an easy thing to do. Guided meditation, however, uses audio assistance to help guide you to that place of peace and reach deeper inside yourself so that you’re no longer inside your head.

And, yes, all you need to do is remain still! And listen!

So, How Does It Work If You’re Not Really Doing Anything?

In a way, it’s almost like hypnosis. As you stay still and simply pay more attention to your own body, you rest within the deeper reaches of your mind, or your subconscious. You’re no longer thinking on the surface. You’re not present in the world; you’re only present deep inside your mind.

Studies show that when you’re tapping into that deep subconscious, you’re actually taking charge of the 37.2 trillion cells in your body, which regulate all 12 of your systems:

• Cardiovascular System
• Endocrine System
• Respiratory System
• Nervous System
• Immune System
• Circulatory System
• Digestive System
• Lymphatic System
• Muscular System
• Skeletal System
• Reproductive System
• Urinary System

It’s that subconscious mind governing and regulating everything your body does without you even knowing it.

Think of the possibilities if you were able to retrain your brain into delivering new neural pathways to any of these systems. That’s what guided meditation seeks to do.

How Does It Biologically Work?

As your brain wave activity slows down and your stress levels drop, your body then triggers HGH (human growth hormones).

HGH is responsible for metabolism, blood sugar level, and protein synthesis regulation. As you relax, your adrenals also calm down, which allows them to rest. They stop producing cortisol, which is the exact stress hormone designed to keep you on your toes. Overproduction of this can have drastic effects on your thyroid as well as your ability to lose weight. It’s one of the reasons why, when you’re stressed out, you feel the need to splurge on food.

Additionally, your endocrine system will balance out as hormones become better regulated. This includes your sex hormones. Imagine yourself trying to make love while extremely worried about money or some other calamity. It’s not possible. Or, at least, it’s not very fun.

The value, without a doubt, is clear: but again, most individuals have serious challenges regarding the ability to meditate and find a corner of their psyche that is part of the serenity they require. Thanks to guided meditation, you can think of it as that “helping hand.”

Think of Your Subconscious Mind as a Power Plant

It’s amazing to think that you have this real “power plant” inside your body designed to communicate with all of the cells in your systems. The moment you start letting the stress nag at you and say phrases like “I’m tired” or “I’m bored” or “I give up,” your body will do exactly what you’re thinking!

That’s some visceral creative energy you have there, and you have the ability to harness all of it. That, of course, as you see, can be good or bad.

The simplest, easy, and almost random thoughts we have could influence exactly how our bodies end up feeling. If the subconscious mind feeds in negative energy, your body will also swallow a lot of that negativity; feed it positive energy, and you can expect to be on the top of the world.

The trick is to not try so hard—and just breathe. Let it be. Let your subconscious mind lead the way.

Guided meditation is a wonderful way to “guide” you into the meditation process and reap all of its benefits. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing your body needs to just be, but you can’t quite get there.

Thanks to guided meditation practices, you can, and here are a few to try:

• Tai Chi Health Products Guided Meditation CD
• The Honest Guys Guided Meditation Video
• Alana Fairchild Guided Meditation CD

Pierre Roustan is an author, adventurer, father, philosopher, philanthropist, athlete, gamer, U.S. chess champion, health nut, activist, and advocate for humanity, living in a quiet home with his wife, four daughters and one son in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He’s trekked through tundras, waded through swamps, wandered through deserts, swam in the Great Barrier Reef, explored a shipwreck, walked a runway, sat in prison, been in a mental hospital, adored and hated others, lost and gained a lot, fought wars in a courtroom, lost wars in his heart, and held loved ones in his arms as they breathed their last breath. He’s braved storms of all kinds and has plenty more life to live—and he’s ready to write all about it.

There are no deadlines, no goals, and there are certainly no rules.

And there’s nothing quite like holding an instrument itself—having a guitar in hand, with limitless possibilities at my fingertips.

I may not be seated, and I’m definitely not in silence, but music is my meditation, and creating it can be just as transcendent.

Music is Therapy

There’s plenty of research that supports the theory that making and playing music can be incredibly therapeutic, for both the brain and body. In fact, there’s a whole form of therapy devoted to it.

Photo by Mike Giles on Unsplash

Studies have found that playing an instrument can lower blood pressure, decrease heart rate, reduce stress, and ease anxiety and depression. It may even improve your memory, reduce pain, and boost your immune system.

But beyond the science, there’s a sense of discovery and excitement when sitting down with an instrument. The best part is there’s no need to be trained. I often strive to play with more technical skill, and while this challenge is good, it sometimes holds me back from pure, raw musical expression.

Music is Pleasure

Divorcing yourself from all expectations—from family, work, and all the mundane daily chores and activities—is essential for being able to listen to yourself and to connect with your true inner being.

I start to feel this almost immediately when I grab my guitar. All stresses start to melt away. And it’s not just about the music I play, but the actual tangible connection with the instrument.

When playing the guitar, I feel the music literally in my hands. It’s a different, more potent type of pleasure than when I’m making music on a laptop. For me, it’s the physical playing of the instrument itself that is part of the whole expressive release.

Music is Balance

It only takes a few minutes for me to start to feel the meditative magic of playing an instrument, to feel my muscles relaxing and my inner self start to take over.

It’s a moment in time that I can escape from the real world while I face it head on. This is the essence of therapy and it’s the power of creativity. All you need to do is pick up an instrument and just play.

About the Author: Julian Garr is an ESL teacher who loves traveling, observing, making music, and enjoying a good cup of coffee. Check him out on YouTube at Big & Small Travel or on Amazon for his Business English e-book.

“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker

Whether you’re flipping through the channels on your TV, scrolling down your Instagram feed, or driving down a major highway, we’re constantly exposed to advertising. No matter what’s being marketed, the message seems to be the same: the more money you spend and the more things you accumulate, the happier you’ll be.

This is the core of the consumerist ideology. And it’s contributing to an environmental, financial, and spiritual crisis—we’re simply accumulating too much stuff, and it’s only weighing us down.

Lightening My Load

I was faced with this crisis head on about three months ago, when I woke up with a few mysterious bites on my legs. At first, I thought they were from mosquitos, but when I woke up the next morning with more, I realized I had bed bugs. The best course of action was clear: everything had to be heat-treated or thrown out. Once I had my first load of laundry in the washing machine, I took a deep breath and started taking some of my belongings to the trash cans outside.

Earlier that summer, I had promised myself I would deep clean my room, but every time I tried, I ended up holding on to almost everything—I found some sentimental reason for keeping any item. But now, I had no choice.

By the end of my cleaning spree, my room was practically bare. The only things I missed were my books. I had been holding on to so much for no other reason than a fear of letting go—but when I finally did, I felt lighter.

A Closer Look at Our Clutter

The average American household contains 300,000 individual items. And if you still need more, you can simply rent a storage unit for the excess—which is exactly what 10% of Americans do. Our homes have tripled in size, the average household has more television sets than people, and collectively, we spend $1.2 trillion on non-essential goods.

At the same time, 65% of Americans say they save little to no money each month. We donate a mere 1.9% of our incomes to charity. And throughout our lifetimes, we spend nearly half a year searching for lost items.

We’re encouraged to consume and compete rather than create and collaborate. We’re told that you need the right clothes, makeup, decor, and accessories to express your true identity. And we’re mislead to believe that you can somehow buy happiness, but once that excitement of a new purchase wears off, you’ll just need to buy more.

It’s time to replace consumerism and materialism with minimalism.

What is Minimalism?

Minimalism doesn’t mean living out of a backpack, selling all of your possessions, or having a bare apartment with nothing but a mattress on the floor. Minimalism simply involves getting rid of excess items that don’t improve your quality of life and keeping the things you truly need. In the process of doing so, you’ll get a clear idea of what really matters.

Minimalism is a mindset that can help you live consciously and deliberately. When you choose to live by the minimalist philosophy, you carefully consider every future purchase based on price, quality, and usefulness. Remember, it’s not a bargain if you don’t need it!

If the idea of chucking half of your possessions sounds intimidating, think of it this way—at some point in your life, you’ll eventually have to face the fact that you don’t need most of it. Perhaps you’ll experience a life-changing event that reveals the importance of healthy relationships and habits over things, or you’ll end up in a circumstance that forces you to deal with the mess.

This process can stir up a lot of complicated emotions. You may realize that you’re spending more time sorting through your stuff than you did buying it (or enjoying it). We expend so much energy cleaning, organizing, and considering things we may or may not need, but you’ll find that once they’re gone, you’ll rarely miss them.

The Beauty of Living With Less

Being forced to face what you’ve accumulated brings a fresh perspective to old habits and new visions. When you’ve stripped away the excess, you can reconsider what’s important to you.

The minimalist approach to life can help you discover what you really value and how you really want to invest your time and money. What deserves to take up space in your life? What long-held beliefs about money and happiness do you need to start unlearning?

Once you’ve released those attachments and sifted through the clutter, you can discover who you truly are and exactly what you want out of life.

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. -Oscar Wilde

We were created to experience and savor the world through our senses. Being aware of our surroundings by drawing on these natural human gifts can be greatly therapeutic.

We can use the simple pleasure and power of practices like aromatherapy, hydrotherapy, music therapy, nature therapy, and touch therapy to enhance our well-being. These therapeutic arts have been used for thousands of years—because they work!

Here’s how:

1. Aromatherapy

Essential oils have been used medicinally for nearly 6,000 years with its roots in places like Egypt, where they used perfume as a holistic therapy.

Aromatherapy is easy to incorporate. You can use an essential oil diffuser, burn a scented candle, or add a mix of oils to your bath.

Your preferred choice of oil and scent will depend on your moods and physical needs. Use lavender to relieve anxiety and stress, rosemary to activate memory, basil to stimulate the brain, peppermint for mental clarity and sharpness, and sage for fatigue and stress

2. Music Therapy

When you crave more than the sounds of silence, music can be your savior. Listening to and playing music can help you relax and channel your creative energy.

Using music as a healing medium dates back to ancient times, as evidenced by biblical scriptures and writings from the ancient civilizations of Egypt, China, India, Greece, and Rome.

Since then, music therapy has been used to relieve stress, and to aid in mental, emotional and behavioral problems. It can even help ease symptoms of depression and anxiety.  It is often used to help elderly clients deal with memory loss associated with diseases such as Alzheimer’s and dementia.

3. Touch Therapy

Touch is a powerful, life-enhancing physical sense that has also been used as a healing method for centuries, particularly through the healing art of massage.

But you don’t necessarily need to go out and spend your hard-earned cash on a fancy massage every month. You can feel the power of touch when simply stroking the hair of your children, holding hands with your friend, kissing your lover, or even hugging a stranger in need.

4. Nature Therapy

Nature is our greatest gift, from the lush, expansive countryside to the shining seas. And you can use every sense to appreciate its awesome beauty.

Spending time outside in nature is not only therapeutic—it’s essential. And this also doesn’t require any of your hard-earned cash. You don’t need to book a vacation to the beach or the mountains to appreciate what Mother Nature has bestowed upon us.  

Look up at the blue sky, splash around in the rain, listen to the waves hit the shore, smell the flowers in the garden, enjoy the sweetness of a fresh piece of fruit, and feel the warmth of the sun seeping into your skin.

5. Hydrotherapy

Another ancient practice, hydrotherapy uses water to relieve discomfort and promote physical well-being. Hot water relaxes the body and has been used to treat arthritis, poor circulation, and sore muscles. Meanwhile, cold water can stimulate blood flow and get you moving.

All you need is a proper bath. It’s a great way to meditate through all of your senses: play with your sense of sight by bathing in candlelight. Submerge yourself in scented warm water (see aromatherapy above), play some soft background music, maybe grab a relaxing book, and a cold refreshing drink and let the warm water melt away any stress.

Experience the World Through Your Senses

Your senses are there, now take advantage of them. Pamper yourself with a massage, invest in some essential oils, go to a concert, or simply take a bath or a walk through the park to get in touch with your senses and awaken your awareness.

“To think in terms of either pessimism or optimism oversimplifies the truth. The problem is to see reality as it is.” – Thích Nhất Hạnh

I sat down on my mat, getting comfortable with a pillow behind my back. I crossed my legs, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes as if I were readying to dive underwater.

I had just started a meditation practice. I was still unsure of how this was really supposed to make me feel. I often finished these short sessions with more questions than answers, trying to sit back and “observe” as my thoughts turned to fears and anxieties I would rather ignore.

Was mindfulness really the key to happiness, as so many seemed to think? Or were my expectations off? As I dug deeper, I realized I had been looking at mindfulness from the wrong perspective.

What is Mindfulness—Really?

Many people seem to conflate mindfulness with having a “positive mental attitude,” a term that gained popularity thanks to Napoleon Hill, an early success guru and author of the famous book Think and Grow Rich.

Having a “PMA” means keeping your mind fixated on the things you want at all times. It involves actively choosing positive thoughts over negative ones and reframing every challenge as an opportunity.

Mindfulness, on the other hand, is a completely different concept.

It’s the process of bringing your full attention to everything happening in the present moment: thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and your environment. This practice is often developed through meditation, an ancient practice with roots in a wide variety of religions and cultures.

There are countless ways to approach meditation, but whether you’re spiritual or secular, cultivating mindfulness is a key component of every meditation system. And mindfulness isn’t quite the same as happiness: in fact, it’s all about awareness.

The Difference Between Mindfulness and Positivity

Being mindful isn’t the same thing as staying positive. It’s not about focusing on things you want while dismissing things you don’t, or even forcing yourself to view a situation in a new way.

In fact, it’s about accepting things that are happening and thoughts that are coming up as they are in the present—there’s no need for labeling events, thoughts, or sensations as “positive” or “negative.”

Mindfulness does not mean choosing your thoughts—instead, you observe them as they occur and then allow them to pass. It means doing what you need to in order to make plans, and then letting it go. It’s finding contentment in the process of your day-to-day routines without attaching your happiness to a particular goal or outcome. 

Being mindful also means accepting where you are in the overall journey of your life. Sometimes when we reflect on our current circumstances, our first instinct is to try to change them in some way. But mindfulness teaches us to resist that urge and to be grateful for the present moment instead.

The Effects of Mindfulness

But can mindfulness help you feel happier in the long run?

Yes.

In our fast-paced society, we’re often focused outwards, feeling anxious over the future and anticipating problems that may arise. Cultivating mindfulness will likely help you improve your overall well-being and eliminate some of the stress that comes along with worrying about the future—not because you’ll magically begin to see everything in a positive light, but because you’ll be able to keep your focus on things you can control in the moment.

The heightened awareness and ability to accept your current circumstances means staying present for challenges, too, rather than trying to ignore or escape them.

Mindfulness and positive thinking can go hand in hand, and practicing meditation on a regular basis can certainly make it easier to think clearly and stay calm in tough situations.

But the aim of mindfulness isn’t to “be happy”—it’s to simply be.

Jane Harkness is a freelance writer from New Jersey. Her writing has been published in Thought Catalog, Student Universe, Pink Pangea, and other digital platforms. She writes every day on Medium, and you can check out more of her work on her website.

Over time, I became comfortable with spending time alone, whether I was at home or out running errands. It turns out, being alone doesn’t make you a loser, it’s actually quite beneficial to your health. Here’s how:

1. Solitude Allows You to Find Your Voice

In a group setting, it’s easy to lose your identity. You may just go with the flow and agree with your friends just because it’s easier. When you’re alone, you can focus on what you want to do without being persuaded by other people’s opinions.

During my alone time, I embrace the fact that all the choices are mine. I can pick the movie I want to see, and I can choose where to eat without worrying about someone else’s opinion.

2. Being Alone Can Make You Smarter

Yes, being alone can make you smarter, but you’ll have to put in some work. Simply sitting around watching the latest episode of The Bachelorette probably won’t increase your intelligence. However, if you use your alone time to read, write, or listen to a podcast, you’ll likely be sharpening your brain.

Reading is a great way to spend time alone. Successful businessmen like Mark Cuban and Mark Zuckerberg purposely take time out of their schedules to be alone and read. Other high-profile business people use their alone time to create and analyze business strategies.

3. Solo Time Can Boost Your Mood

Taking even a few minutes away from your friends and family can relieve a bad mood. One study found that teens felt substantial relief in their depression after spending time alone. Being alone after a fight with another person can also allow you to take time to calm down, analyze the situation, and come up with a level-headed solution.

4. Solitude Can Improve Your Health

You may choose to take alone time to focus on your health. Whether it’s going for a walk or popping in a fitness DVD, doing something physical by yourself is a great way to keep healthy. By going solo, it’s your decision what activity to do, so you’re bound to end up doing something that makes you happy.

Mediation during alone time can also be positive for your health. Meditation has many great benefits, including increasing immune function and decreasing pain.

5. You’ll Feel Happier

Mental health professionals are suggesting that everyone spends at least 20 minutes a day by themselves. While some people may need less or more, it’s more about the quality of the time spent alone than the quantity.

Spend your alone time doing things that make you happy. I like to turn on some John Mayer, zone out, and paint. The happiness you create in your alone time will inevitably spill over into the rest of your life.

Kati Jewell is a self-proclaimed spirit junkie who lives in Michigan. When she’s not on her boat with her husband and daughter, she can be found at yoga class or lost in a good book.

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu

We are all guilty of it. Whether we’re re-hashing a fight we had with our significant other or worrying about an upcoming doctor’s appointment, we rob ourselves of the present. It’s easy to get wrapped up in past thoughts or future doubts, but it’s doing a huge disservice to the life we are currently living.

Mindfulness is the act of being here now. You may have tried practicing mindfulness before but found it impossible to focus on the present. I won’t lie—it’s very hard to keep your mind in the here and now, but it’s not impossible. Below are four simple ways to practice mindfulness and focus on living in the present.

1. Stop Worrying

Whether we’d like to admit it or not, all of us worry. When I was in college, I used to worry about everything and conjure a bunch of “What if?” scenarios in my head. I spent a lot of time freaking out about situations that never materialized.

Things changed for me when I stumbled upon this phrase: “Worrying is like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain.” Now, whenever I start to worry about an upcoming event, I picture myself holding an umbrella outside on a sunny day. It would be silly of me to stand outside and waste a perfect day waiting for rain, wouldn’t it?

2. Meditate

Meditation is great for several things, including being present. While meditating, you focus on what is happening inside and outside of your body in the moment. Simply being aware of the activities going on will prevent your brain from wandering to the past or future.

The shift from thinking to sensing will take practice, so set aside a specific time and place each day to meditate. Most of the time it only takes a few minutes in a quiet area to calm your mind. Studies have shown that daily meditation can retrain your brain from being past- or future-focused to fully present.

3. Let It Go

Some people worry about the future, while others can’t let go of the past. Then there’s the lucky few, like me, who tend to do both. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking about the past, when you fought with loved ones, snapped at your children, or made mistakes at work.

To live in the present, we must accept the things we cannot change. Forgive those who wronged you. Harboring resentment or embarrassment from the past does nothing for the present day.

There’s a powerful quote from Carl Jung that I’ve tucked away in my brain: “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” You can’t change the past, but you can prevent it from feeling how you do today.

4. Connect with Your Senses

One of the easiest ways to focus on the present moment is to connect with your senses. Sometimes we’re so busy on our lunch break that we don’t even taste the salad we’re eating. Start paying attention to how the hot water feels on your body as you shower. Savor the crispness of the wine you’ve paired with your dinner. When you literally stop to smell the roses, you’re living in the present day and practicing mindfulness.

As you can see, focusing your energy to the present can be easier than you think. By ridding yourself of worry, letting go of the past, paying attention to your senses, and meditating, you will start to appreciate what is happening right in front of you. This is the first step to becoming a happier, stronger person.

“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” – Aesop

It’s not easy to be grateful when the world beats down on you like a drum. Spitting back at it with malice seems so much more satisfying. But it’s actually much better for your mental health to simply say “thank you,” and there’s even quite a bit of scientific evidence to prove it.

Thank Yourself for Saying “Thank You” Today

Instead of always being a “Debbie Downer,” you should be more grateful for what you have—for your own sake and sanity! But don’t do it for just anybody. Don’t even do it because we say so. Do it for the well-being of your own body, brain, and soul, and for these 7 reasons…

1. Romantic Relationship Potential

A 2014 study published in Emotion linked the simple act of thanking a stranger for holding the door open for you to new possibilities for romance! It’s true. Gratitude blossoms the prospect of relationships, from friendships to significant others.

Whenever you thank someone for something, that person is more likely to seek a friendship or even relationship with you—yes, just saying “thank you” is all you need to do.

2. Emotional Balance

What if psychiatrists prescribed something as simple as saying “thank you”? According to Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, and his studies on the effect of gratitude, it can do wonders to your emotional health.

The results of his studies were almost magical. Participants began experiencing more positive emotion, eliminating everything from envy, to resentment, frustration, and even regret. That’s not to say that those emotions are necessarily bad. Just more balanced. And that kind of balance promotes happiness over depression any day.

3. Peace and Understanding

The University of Kentucky conducted a study in 2012 on what gratitude does to patience and long-suffering. The results were profound.

They found that participants exhibiting more gratitude were less likely to retaliate when facing confrontation. This was the case even when they received a lot of negative feedback. Sensitivity and empathy decrease any sense of vengeance. We can all agree that humanity needs plenty more of both.

4. Better Sleep

In 2011, Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being published a rather interesting study on gratitude. It found that if you simply write down grateful affirmations or sentiments about you, your life, or anything at all before going to bed, chances are you’ll not only sleep longer, but way more soundly.

We can get behind that. Thousands of individuals suffer from insomnia or other conditions limiting the ultimate recharge time for the human body. Simply saying “thank you” every night may be the sleeping pill you need.

5. Higher Self-Esteem

Being grateful really is the ultimate self-esteem booster, and this was further confirmed in a 2014 study in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology.

The study focused on athletes and their self-esteem and discovered that gratitude reduced social comparisons. It boosts confidence as well. Because of athletes’ ability to be confident in themselves through gratitude, they were able to perform better. When not grateful about what you can do or what you have, you begin feeling resentful toward others and not focused on the game and the goal.

6. Mental Prowess & Stress Management

Being thankful can actually settle you down, even in the midst of terror and fear. In fact, a 2006 study published in Behavior Research and Therapy saw that Vietnam War veterans exhibiting more gratefulness experienced lower instances of PTSD.

Furthermore, another study in 2003 from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology proved that gratitude fostered resilience even during the 9/11 attacks. In the experiment, people were tasked with listing all the ways they were better off than others. They found that you could endure horrible hardship and still be happy—about 25% happier, in fact. Being grateful about something is never about being “better off,” but that you’re content with what you have.

7. Improved Physical Health

A study in 2012 published in Personality and Individual Differences saw that participants who exhibited gratefulness took better care of themselves. In a way, it makes sense. If you’re more grateful, you’ll likely put more care into yourself. You’ll ultimately exercise more, eat better, and experience fewer aches and pains. And it all starts with a little gratitude.

The Proof is in the Gratitude

The evidence speaks for itself. The more grateful you are for what you have and where you’re at, the more you’ll benefit in every aspect of your life. All the more reason to thank yourself for reading this!

Pierre Roustan is an author, adventurer, father, philosopher, philanthropist, athlete, gamer, U.S. chess champion, health nut, activist, and advocate for humanity, living in a quiet home with his wife, four daughters and one son in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He’s trekked through tundras, waded through swamps, wandered through deserts, swam in the Great Barrier Reef, explored a shipwreck, walked a runway, sat in prison, been in a mental hospital, adored and hated others, lost and gained a lot, fought wars in a courtroom, lost wars in his heart, and held loved ones in his arms as they breathed their last breath. He’s braved storms of all kinds and has plenty more life to live—and he’s ready to write all about it.

“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliott

I’ll admit it—I like social media. I have friends and family scattered across the United States, easily reachable by logging into Facebook and Instagram. I love how I can see my best friend’s daughter grow up in Orlando and watch my extended family in Massachusetts celebrate holidays.

But I’m starting to realize that it’s really stressing me out.

The Shocking Truth

The ping of an Instagram alert. The swoosh of an e-mail notification. The buzz of a Facebook announcement. These noises would interrupt my life numerous times a day. The final straw was when Apple released their Screen Time feature in beta mode. I was interested to see how much time I spent on my phone. Well, the results weren’t pretty. In fact, they made my stomach turn. On the first day I had picked up my phone once every two minutes.

The Experiment

At that moment I decided to make a change. Social media was running my life and I needed to take control. The first thing I did was delete all the social media apps from my phone. Despite no longer having the apps, I still found myself picking up my phone to check on alerts. I would also reach for my phone to take pictures for Instagram.

It was hard at first. I felt like I was missing out on important things. It didn’t take me very long to re-install all the apps and eagerly scroll to see what I had missed.

It turns out, I didn’t miss anything.

This was the most important part of my experiment. I may have “failed” at staying off social media, but when I returned, I realized that I didn’t need to be on it 24/7. I wouldn’t miss anything incredibly important. If something major happened, my friends or family would text or call.

The Results

After this, I kept the apps on my phone, but vowed to check on them less often. I recently took some time off work to enjoy the Michigan summer with my family. The week included a lot of time on the lake, soaking up the warm rays and watching firework shows. While I posted some things on Facebook, I found myself picking up my phone less and less.

Detaching from my phone allowed me to reconnect with “real” life. The stress of keeping up with everyone began to fade and I focused more on what was in front of me.

I’d catch myself noticing random things: the moon in the sky during the day, and the sound of the cicadas in the summer heat. I was able to reflect more on myself and my family right in front of me than what was happening on a screen.

Simple Ways to Disconnect

After my experiment, I’ve come to believe that social media is like anything else—it’s good in moderation. Disconnecting doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing experience. Small changes to your current social media routine can make a world of difference.

• Turn off social media notifications on your cell phone. This will prevent you from picking up your phone every time it dings.
• Designate a certain time to catch up on social media. Set aside a few minutes per day to check in, but log out as soon as your time limit is over.
• Shut your phone off one hour before bedtime. Studies show that screen time before bed can lead to restless nights.

With the way the world is today, I can’t completely escape from social media, nor do I really want to. However,  I can limit my time with it and enjoy the life that is happening right in front of me.

Kati Jewell is a self-proclaimed spirit junkie who lives in Michigan. When she’s not on her boat with her husband and daughter, she can be found at yoga class or lost in a good book.

“You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” -Pearl S. Buck

Going over the same scenario in your mind, visualizing all of the ways it could go wrong. Struggling to take deep breaths as you feel your heart rate speeding up. That urge to escape when you’re in the middle of a crowd, telling you that you need to get out, now.

Anxiety can manifest in countless ways, and millions of people today experience these symptoms on a regular basis. Generalized anxiety is very common: just over 18% of American adults are affected by an anxiety disorder, and it’s the number one mental health issue in North America.

Persistent, anxious thoughts and feelings can be related to everything from your unique brain chemistry to stressful events occurring in your life.

Strengths vs. Weaknesses

For some of us, it can feel like anxiety is just part of our personality. My tendencies to overthink things, analyze situations to death, do extensive research before making a decision, and my introverted nature all serve me in some ways, but these traits also predispose me to anxiety.

The writer Umair Haque theorizes that, in most cases, our weaknesses are simply the flip sides of our strengths, and I’m inclined to agree with him.

Joshua Rawson Harris via Unsplash

My instinct to carefully plan my next step has helped me build a healthy savings account and avoid unnecessary emergencies. My worries about getting stuck in traffic or oversleeping means that my alarm always goes off early and I’m out the door with time to spare, and my fear of getting lost in an unfamiliar area means that I’ve always got maps and directions on hand. My need to spend time alone gives me the space I need to work on creative projects without distractions.

My to-do lists, planners, routines, and healthy doses of “me time” usually benefit me. But when these positive qualities and behaviors are “turned up too loud,” it results in anxiety—anxiety about being around strangers, setting out without a detailed plan, and trying something new.

Don’t Believe the Hype

I have promised myself not to skip out on activities I love or want to try because of anxiety. I still make an effort to push myself out of my comfort zone: traveling solo to Berlin two summers ago and going to a concert by myself this past spring were two of my biggest leaps. But I didn’t leave my anxiety behind at the edge—when I jumped, it came with me.

Oftentimes, narratives about dealing with anxiety center around eliminating these feelings completely, or at least alleviating the symptoms that interfere with one’s enjoyment of new and unfamiliar experiences.

Many stories about personal experiences with anxiety end with a triumphant lesson about making lots of new friends, discovering newfound confidence, and ditching shyness for good. My stories do not, and I have learned to accept this.

When I embarked on my solo trip, I was too nervous to speak to other travelers, so I explored on my own, holding my map in shaky hands as I wandered around a city where I didn’t know a soul. When I went to that concert by myself, I stood alone in a sea of fans while everyone else chatted with friends, unable to muster up the courage to strike up a conversation.

These moments were not shining examples of how to overcome anxiety and become a different person—but I’m glad I went ahead anyway.

Olaia Irigoien via Unsplash

Doing It Despite the Fear

I got on that plane on my own, scared and overwhelmed, and found my way around a foreign city. I got in my car and drove to that concert and enjoyed the music, even though part of me wanted to turn around and run home. I don’t look back at these choices with pride because I conquered my anxiety once and for all, but because I still felt the anxiety and followed through with my plans in spite of it.

Sometimes I can enter a situation where I would normally feel anxious and end up feeling comfortable and welcome. And sometimes, I just have to take a deep breath and walk into that room with my nerves going haywire.

If you struggle with anxiety, just know that you are not any less worthy of self-love or compassion when you’re unable to shake those feelings. Sitting with your anxiety and discomfort and “doing it anyway” may not feel like a victory at the time, but there is bravery in taking small steps forward, even if your fears happen to come along with you.

Jane Harkness is a freelance writer from New Jersey. Her writing has been published in Thought Catalog, Student Universe, Pink Pangea, and other digital platforms. She writes every day on Medium, and you can check out more of her work on her website.

“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.” – E.B. White

Encouraging the older generation to get into a car and go for a drive may be the last thing you’d think would be good advice. We often chalk up that loss of privilege to failing eyesight or mental health, and before you know it, grandpa no longer is allowed access to the keys. However…

Studies have shown that senior citizens can actually benefit from driving around.

Aside from the fact that a drive around town or through the countryside simply allows you time to reflect, it may also prevent mental illness.

New research may prove that senior citizens can avoid everything from decreased health to even dementia, all because they’re firing up those neurons regularly. Even just a quick trip to the grocery store can do wonders for the brain.

More importantly, the ability to drive is a powerful force. Not only does it nourish your cognitive awareness, it also gives you a feeling of self-control—you’re more empowered by the personal freedom and independence. It’s a remarkable feeling.

Driving also allows for more flexibility. Can grandpa make it to the grandkids’ graduation? Of course, he can! He’s got a car. And he doesn’t have to inconveniently plan around a bus schedule or wait for other family members to pick him up.

This is especially the case for certain areas with no real good public transportation. What can a senior citizen do? Not much. But having a car, and the freedom to drive it, will give them a nice boost in their self-esteem and probably a much more active social life—all positive things for their overall health.

But what about the loss of vision that often comes with aging? Perhaps some eyesight correction could make it possible for that 80-year-old to still step into a hot ride and get a good drive in for the sake of the brain? What do you think?

When You Have to Give Up the Keys

Sometimes it’s a necessity: vision worsens, your memory and judgment begins to falter—you then have no choice but to stop driving.

The problem is all of this can actually speed up the entire decline. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle. Depression hits. Social isolation hits even harder. The decrease in physical activity makes all sorts of health conditions even worse. The studies even showed that depression was twice as likely to impact older adults. The data from the study had researchers also hypothesizing that older adults giving up the car keys would be more likely to die within the next three to five years!

Those are some pretty heavy statistics in favor of senior citizens continuing to drive.

The big issue is should those senior citizens keep driving when they know it’s likely risky? How do we balance road safety against the potential benefits for older people? Perhaps there are some alternatives, such as regular dancing classes, daily walks, swimming or yoga classes. But until that’s absolutely necessary, we shouldn’t be so quick to take the keys away.

Pierre Roustan is an author, adventurer, father, philosopher, philanthropist, athlete, gamer, U.S. chess champion, health nut, activist, and advocate for humanity, living in a quiet home with his wife, four daughters and one son in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He’s trekked through tundras, waded through swamps, wandered through deserts, swam in the Great Barrier Reef, explored a shipwreck, walked a runway, sat in prison, been in a mental hospital, adored and hated others, lost and gained a lot, fought wars in a courtroom, lost wars in his heart, and held loved ones in his arms as they breathed their last breath. He’s braved storms of all kinds and has plenty more life to live—and he’s ready to write all about it.

“Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.” – Delmore Schwartz

If you’re pretty dirty, and your hair’s quite oily, then, yes, it’s time to get in that tub and start scrubbing. But there’s really only one intrinsic reason for taking a bath or a shower, and it has nothing to do with how you look, but how you feel.

Interestingly enough, the temperature you choose happens to be one of the biggest factors in how beneficial your next round of bathing will be. Taking either a warm bath or cold shower does enormous advantages for your mental health. Here are three ways why.

1. A Warm Bath Can Melt Away Your Stress

Of course, not many of us would turn down a warm bath. Thankfully, Yale University has a study to prove just how great a Jacuzzi tub can actually be. Remarkably, it may just be all in your head.

Physical warmth does wonders for the mind, specifically when it comes from another human being. Hugs, kisses, holding hands: these all promote wellbeing and a wholesome heart. So, when you imitate that via a warm bath, the instant benefit’s clear—you’ll actually feel less alone.

And as your stress decreases, your sleep will likely improve, too. You may even be able to prevent migraines with a hot bath!

2. Cold Showers Can Boost Your Mood

It’s surprising that oftentimes when we think of a cold shower, it’s to take one after doing something healthy for your body, such as exercise or sex. That’s all fine and dandy, but there’s an additional benefit to jumping into the icy chill: alleviation of depression. There’s a science to it as well.

Medically, that cold chill you experience can, according to recent studies, release a chemical within your brain specifically designed to battle depression: it’s called noradrenaline. That exact chemical essentially “shocks” your body enough to snap you out of depression.

3. Cold Showers Can Also… Wait For It … WAKE YOU UP!

Literally. Remember those ALS Ice Bucket Challenge videos? That feeling of getting ice water dumped on you will quickly trigger mental alertness. This is due to you breathing in deeper, which improves blood flow to your brain.

It’s that exact jolt, like electricity, that supercharges your brain cells and allows you to meditate in a certain way (of course, we think you stand a better chance of actually “meditating” in a warm bath).

Boost Your Brain with a Little H2O

Ingesting it is essential, of course, but you’ll want to get some water on you, too. The great bonus is you get the big trifecta: mental, physical, and emotional benefits. No wonder why we drill our kids on bathing every day!

Pierre Roustan is an author, adventurer, father, philosopher, philanthropist, athlete, gamer, U.S. chess champion, health nut, activist, and advocate for humanity, living in a quiet home with his wife, four daughters and one son in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He’s trekked through tundras, waded through swamps, wandered through deserts, swam in the Great Barrier Reef, explored a shipwreck, walked a runway, sat in prison, been in a mental hospital, adored and hated others, lost and gained a lot, fought wars in a courtroom, lost wars in his heart, and held loved ones in his arms as they breathed their last breath. He’s braved storms of all kinds and has plenty more life to live—and he’s ready to write all about it.

“It’s all about finding calm in the chaos.” – Donna Karan

Early last year, I found myself weighed down by anxiety. My mind was constantly racing with an ongoing to-do list. I felt physically and mentally drained every night as my head hit the pillow. Just like the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” my cup was bone dry.

This is when I stumbled upon EFT.

What is EFT?

EFT stands for “Emotional Freedom Therapy.” It’s also known as “Tapping” or “EFT Tapping,” because you tap on certain parts of the body to release negative stress. I’ll admit, at first it sounded a little crazy.

Fast forward to a year later and I still practice EFT—because it works! I’ve come to learn that EFT has helped others reduce stress and boost energy levels. EFT also helps for physical issues. Some use it to relieve tension headaches, others for joint pain. Personally, I use it whenever I am feeling stressed out.

If you haven’t tried EFT, you may be skeptical. It’s completely normal to feel that way. It does sound a little funny to “tap” away depression and pain. However, EFT Tapping is based on acupuncture, which has been around for over 5,000 years. Instead of needles, fingertips are used.

The good news is EFT is growing in popularity and so are the articles and videos explaining the practice.

How to Practice EFT to Fill Your Cup

Like meditation, EFT can be practiced most anywhere and at any time. You’ll want to find a place that you can take a few minutes to focus on your body and mind.

1. Before beginning, tune into your body. Ask yourself, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed am I right now?”
2. Take a deep breath and begin lightly tapping the side of your hand.
3. Repeat the following phrase: “Even though I am very stressed out, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
4. Tap for about 10 seconds and move on to tapping right above your eyebrow.
5. You will repeat tapping and speaking on the following areas: Side of eye, under eyes, under nose, chin, collarbone, under arm, and top of the head.
6. For the next round of tapping, you’ll change the sentence to a positive phrase. You can use the same phrase for this section, or different phrases for each body area. Like most other practices, feel free to make EFT your own, but make sure to keep it simple. Some phrases that you can use are “I am okay as I am” or “I choose to slow down and step back.”
7. Once finished, take a deep breath in and evaluate your stress level. It should be reduced from when you began the session.

The above exercise is a very simple and short EFT session. As you grow more familiar with the practice, you can lengthen the section by adding different rounds. For example, some people perform eight rounds of tapping in which they: 1-express, 2-understand, 3-explore, 4-address, 5-relax, 6-gain hope, 7-slow down, and 8-choose calm.

The most important thing is to find a tapping session that works for you. Believe in the practice, believe in yourself, and fill your cup.

Kati Jewell is a self-proclaimed spirit junkie who lives in Michigan. When she’s not on her boat with her husband and daughter, she can be found at yoga class or lost in a good book.